Dear readers, we have a confession to make… a large yet simply stated, crunchy, tasty confession… We are in LOVE with bacon! Bacon bacon bacon! Bacon by itself! Bacon over pizza! Bacon with figs! Bacon crunch! Bacon smell! Bacon sizzles! Even bakin’ in bacon fat! Bacon is no longer just a breakfast staple, but it’s an everything staple, perfectly appropriate for all meals. But why stop at eating? Bacon works wonders in cars, as toys, and even in the Oval Office! We’re thrilled to be part of the team that upholds pork meat like it’s greasy gold. We’re ready to throw off our shackles of salads and healthy eating in favor of living in the moment with the one who never judges, the one who’s always there, the one who makes even the sweetest of moments even better. Bacon, this one’s for you, baby!
For those times when even the smell of freesia is like dog poop, there’s the Bacon Air Freshener. Toss this novelty gift into a hamper to cover up gym-clothes-smell, or use the hanging air freshener to double the awesome smell of cooked bacon while cooking bacon (mind blown).
Start the tykes off with a healthy, heaping dose of Bacon Baby Formula! Yes, we realize how controversial bacon-flavored baby formula is, and yes, we’d totally sprinkle this over cooked bacon. But be warned, parents-with-questionable-parenting-style: Bacon Baby Formula is a very limited product and has a waiting list. Hey, anything worth having is worth waiting for, right?
Nothing ventured, nothing gained! For those times when you can’t put bacon in your mouth, there’s Bacon Toothpaste to get you pretty darn close. Keep your “eww”s to yourself: “bacon fresh” breath means the world will finally love you, all thanks to a certain toothpaste. Who knew!
Wear your heart on your sleeve or anywhere you want with Bacon Love Temporary Tattoos! A pack of two temporary tattoos let you proudly display your shameless love while also letting you try it out before getting the real thing. (Don’t believe us? Scroll down for some real bacon tattoos!) You’d be our hero if you wear your Bacon Love Tattoo right over your real heart.
Breathe a sigh of relief at something you sane bacon lovers can actually consider. Bacon Flip Flops keep a bit of taste under your feet– though we question why you’d want to walk all over bacon– while also showing bacon pride. A perfect compliment to the beach or a night out on the town!
Did we mention we’re part of the bacon brigade? We’re not kidding when we say some people LOVE bacon. Like, a scary-kinda love. Check out some of the things people have done over their fanatical love of meat candy!
Still have room for more? Check out Baconfreak.com for more bacon novelties and bacon apparel for your fill– if you can fill it. Sigh, we feel so much better getting this bacon obsession off our chests and into our bellies. And yet, we thirst for more… No, actually, we’re just thirsty (lots of salt makes us parched). And don’t forget to follow Cris P. Bacon on Twitter at @Bacon4Pres; hey, bacon might have lost the campaign for presidency last time, but not next time! Bacon 2016!