With Halloween just over two weeks away, let’s try something a little less cutesy and a little more macabre with the Blood Bath collection from one of our vendors, Spinning Hat. Leave the smiling witch decoration in the closet where it belongs. Let’s make Halloween scary again! And what’s scarier than a paper goblin, you ask? The one thing that slasher and gore films have in common: blood! So let us slip into something a little more sinister while we sharpen our kni—I mean, our sense of storytelling and indulge your fancy with coagulated splattered splendor. Muhaha!
You arrive home late at night. Nothing seems unusual, except you have a strange urge to leave the lights off. (Hey, saving energy always applies!) You head for your restroom, the floor steadily creaking with every step. You flip the lights and jolt back with a gasp as you find your serene white bathmat has been adulterated with… bright red bloody footprints. A bloody bath mat. Can it be real? No…. it LOOKS very real. The shape of the feet, larger than your own, the vibrant hue characteristic of fresh blood. Fresh blood? You recall how soft that mat is to your tired feet and smile to yourself. Ahhhh… And how stylish it is. I’d always get compliments on that.
Your self-induced daze is shattered with a slight upward gaze at the bloodied dripping handprints on your shower curtain. What the.,..?! MORE blood?? My roommate’s gonna throw a fit. Nevermind that, there’s bigger issues at stake now. Your machine-washable, water-resistant shower curtain with anti-mold finish is hiding something dark.
And then you put the pieces together: they both lead to the shower. You figure, Hey, I’m a risk taker, and throw caution to the wind when you pull back the curtain but don’t expect to find… a blood transfusion bag hanging from your shower head. Some of the bag is empty. And there’s something else weird but very pleasant at the same time: cherry. You smell something cherry-scented. Can it be the bag? (It is, but we’ll get to that.)
As you ponder the circumstance, you glance at the mirror… and see yourself wearing a butcher’s bloody apron. No! Is it me? Did I do something heinous and forget?? There’s nothing in the handy front pocket of this 100% cotton apron. But the splatters and smears…
And then you realize… you bought all these items from us. Oh yea, that’s right. Damn you, Spinning Hat, for making products with such convincing fake blood. Damn yoooouuu!