The 66th Anniversary of Roswell and Alien “Artifacts”
July 8, 2013
They come in peace… Or pieces, since their aircraft crashed upon landing: it’s the 66th anniversary of the Roswell incident! If you don’t know what that is, please stop reading this, look it up, and come back to us. Otherwise, imagine all the hubbub surrounding such a mysterious and controversial event when it happened way back in 1947. The intrigue! The questions! The debris! The conspiracy! It was a movie in the making– in fact, probably a few thousand movies, from Abbot and Costello Go to Mars to E.T. to Prometheus. Though many have claimed to have had an alien encounter, and many others have built their lives around debunking government explanations for this weird incident and that, we just shake our fingers and offer a shrug when we can’t help but wonder what kind of high jinx we’ll get ourselves into next. And with that, we present our top five favorite alien-themed gifts that even Alf could approve of!
Ice Attacks Ice Cubes! Because nothing is scarier than an alien inside you! (Especially if you’re Kane from Alien.) With that classic UFO saucer shape, this silicone ice tray fills up with this liquid called water, and with a drastic change in environmental temperature, it changes to a solid that is used to chill drinks. Weird, right? And with battered meteor shapes also part of the ice cube tray, your insides will feel a battle they have yet to experience! By that we mean it’ll feel really cold.
What, so now you sympathize with the alien effort to abduct the earth? Whatever, we don’t get you sometimes. This Alien Protest Mug is perfect for all you weirdos who’d hold up “Welcome to Earth” signs on the day we’d be blown to bits. Or maybe made into slaves of aliens. Whatever might happen, at least your (possibly last) cup of morning Joe will be just how you like it: in a coffee mug. And probably with Irish cream.
Ahh, nothing like a sweet cake shaped like a character from a sweet video game whose name we can’t say for copyright purposes. The Retro Arcade Cake Mold reminds us of what everything else alien-related has told us all along: we’re under attack! Well, except when they’re fuzzy and cuddly, like Alf. Otherwise, this cake mold is microwave-safe in case you want a quick victorious bite and oven-safe (or course) if you prefer a long drawn-out battle with a sweet ending. Munch on it with your favorite extraterrestrial!
Make contact– the easy, non-butt-required way! The Greetings Earthling Oven Mitt lets you take have a close encounter without the… the, uh… you know. Let’s just say there’s burning when you don’t use a hot mitt. See? We made a funny pun there. See??
Hey, if you can’t beat them, wear them on a goofy Nordic-style sweater! This Space Invaders Sweater is a one of a kind– no, really, it is. It’s a completely DIY sweater, so finding one can be a challenge. Luckily, there’s a bit of a nerd following for these, so there’s different kinds available, like this one on Etsy and an Argyle Space Invaders Sweatshirt.
So what did happen that day in New Mexico? Was it just a weather balloon experiment gone awry? Or was it in fact an accidental intersection between two totally unknowing life forms, something not at all planned or foreseen, and hence never forgotten? Are we being spied on from beyond our world? Or maybe even from within it? (Maybe your crazy stalker ex isn’t crazy, but just an alien…) Oh well: who’s to say for now what’s going to happen between humans and aliens or if anything will happen. At least we have a whole host of somewhat exploitative media characters and corresponding humorous alien gifts. Until we get a message or get probed, the anniversary of Roswell reminds us that we might not be alone here in this vast universe… as long as they don’t all look like the hairy monster that is Robin Williams, we’re good.