Weird holidays: you know we love ‘em, so when we heard that March 28th is not just Thursday, but Something on a Stick Day, we were all over it like hot batter on a stick. Some foods just seemed destined to be cooked or be eaten off a stick: weenies, marshmallows, cheese, chicken livers (hey, it’s a matter of preference!). We’re not talking about dainty toothpick-adorned appetizers, though. Guilt-ridden junk like Corn Dogs (ma furvurite kind of guilt) or veggie-delight Caprese on a Stick make bellies full and smile– and hands anxious to be rid of a growing amount of empty sticks! No matter– it’s not Something Little on a Stick Day, after all.
When you hear the phrase “food on a stick,” the first thing that probably comes to mind is corn dogs. And for good reason: they’re awesome! Corn Dogs are my personal all-time favorite junk food, along with cotton candy (if that can be considered “food”), and this corn dog recipe requires so little experience to make. A little cornmeal, some flour, spices (and sugar?! Yes, sugar), an egg, and some milk form the batter for your weenies on wooden skewers. Let’s face it: it’s easy to make a deep fried masterpiece. Plus, they’re not as messy to make as one might assume, and you don’t need to wear a funny hat or work at the mall.
Got some cornmeal left over? Craving for some sweet, buttery goodness? Love it when foods look familiar but don’t include that ingredient at all? If you said yes to, well, at least two of those questions, these Southern Corn Sticks hit the spot! We initially felt deceived at the fact that this southern recipe with “corn” in the title doesn’t include corn at all! (“Whaaa?? No corn??”) It’s a mix of cornmeal, milk, butter, and an egg poured into a cornstick pan to yield corn-shaped cornbread. That, however, doesn’t mean they’re not delicious! Still, we prefer using UniCorn Holders so we get the full experience, even if it is just in our heads– or just our stubbornness.
Cast a spell on taste buds and ulcers alike with Spicy Beef Kabobs, AKA Haitian Voodoo Sticks. Whether or not the scary grilling recipe name has to do with its origin is irrelevant: these babies are delish! A mere six ingredients, including beef bouillon and cayenne pepper, marinate cubed steak for four hours and yield tasty, satisfying beef kabobs with an afterburn that’ll make you sing and dance so the demons go away! I cook mine with baby bella mushrooms and red onion slices and serve with tortillas and sour cream– you know, to banish some of the evil.
Ugh, too much heavy stuff for you so far? No worries: Caprese on a Stick matches your appetite with your desire to stay healthy! Olive oil with salt and pepper coats fresh basil leaves, cherry tomatoes, and mozzarella balls– a perfect springtime snack! Serve up a bunch on a stick and go nuts for the weird holiday FTW! Or, if you must, you can also serve them on dainty toothpicks like the recipe suggests– we mean, if you want. No judging here, but at least embrace the holiday a little more with Bullseye Dart Picks or parasols or something!
YES, S’more Pops! You didn’t actually think we’d let you go without something grand on a stick, something decadent, something… just a little bit bad? Oh, who are we kidding, S’more Pops are downright wicked! Full-bottomed marshmallows get a bath in luscious melted chocolate and dry off with crushed Golden Grahams cereal or graham crackers. Toast the top with a kitchen torch, and you’ve got a mind-numbingly delicious dessert that even Betty Crocker would approve of! Probably because it’s a Betty Crocker recipe, but that’s beside the point! Serve ‘em up on Branch Skewers and get the full outdoors feel of s’mores without the mosquitoes or lingering threat of being mauled to death by a bear.
So now what do we do with all these sticks? Do we poke each other with them? Do we replant them in the ground so they can be with their wooden families? Do we just toss ‘em away like the empty sticks that they are? No. None of those. We hold up our sticks, skewers, and toothpicks with pride, showing the world that we love Something on a Stick Day, we celebrated, and dang it, we loved every moment of it. We point and laugh at the pitiful driver with mustard on his shirt who missed the weird holiday and instead ate a hamburger. Too bad, so sad. We applaud, love, hug, and can’t wait for Something on a Stick Day 2014! We’re counting down… now. 365 days….