We are attempting to answer the one question on everyone’s minds at this time, the one no one dares ask publicly, the one that distracts us from our work, family, and selves: are hipsters too cool for Christmas presents? We have no clue, but we’ve composed a gift list for hipsters anyways! While you might not understand the tight skinned pants, the nouveau-Flock-of-Seagulls hairdo, or the fascination with all things outside mainstream culture, we’ve divided this Christmas list into the different personas of the hipster species to help you uncool people “get it.”
History repeats itself, and records and LPs are no exception. Suck UK LP Dividers allow hipsters to indulge in their retro fantasies of simpler times with a little organization. If they actually prefer mP3s or even CDs (posers!), they can still participate in this hipster trend with Record Coasters.
While perhaps not classically trained, the Artsy-Fartsy Hipster appreciates both fine and street art, the Rembrandts with the Banksys. A History of Art Mug from MoMA provides an über-quick lesson in art history without being pretentious. If your hipster friend is, well, more of an art snob, a Melting Clock a lá Salvador Dali might be more up his or her alley.
From the same vein as the Artsy-Fartsy Hipster comes the Photographic Hipster, who also works as a barista at your nearest coffee shop. For the hipster infatuated with the dreamy ambiance of 50s and 60s family photos, the Lomography Diana F+ Camera is nothing short of a match made in hipster heaven. The die-hard Photographic Hipster may also fancy him or herself a Vintage Camera Pencil Sharpener.
Psh, who needs new stuff when old stuff is vintage and therefore cool? The iconic Old-School-Only Hipster is probably the easiest to shop for since you can head to your nearest thrift store, swipe your arm clear across a shelf, wrap that crap and say “Merry Christmas, hipster.” If you have decency, though, an old-school Beat It Bike Horn for his/her beach cruiser or a Ridley’s Retro Harmonica for his/her mouth will do just as well.
Going green is a double-edged sword: on the one side, you’re reducing waste and on the other, you have hipster tendencies. A Suck UK “War on Plastic” Reusable Bag makes a statement without saying a word with its compact grenade case that opens up to a recyclable bag. Likewise, riding a bicycle also contributes to the green cause, and a Halo Belt helps these hipsters stay safe. And they wouldn’t be Hippie Hipsters without some political satire: “Our Dumb Century” from the Onion mocks news headlines and makes a perfect coffee table book at the same time.
You wanna know what hipsters do? This Typewriter Laptop Case pretty much says it all: hipsters use anything with an internet connection to blog, tweet, retweet, and other verbs that didn’t exist until a few years ago. And these ‘New Black’ Pencils sum up more hipster activities.
Nothing is better than when you do it yourself. Help hipsters help themselves with a Brooklyn Beer Making Kit and a “WTF Should I Make for Dinner” Cookbook. Then we can create a collaborative effort to keep hipsters out of cool bars and restaurants.
We kid, we kid! But seriously, hipsters cannot resist the infectious spirit of Christmas and the smiles that will overcome them when you hand them a giftwrapped item from above. Then get ready to decipher their response: “OMG! LOL 3> LMAO!”