December 6, 2013
You and your big mouth now have a great end-of-summer companion with our new favorite product line, Big Mouth Toys! Downright distasteful, shameless, functional: we love the quirky line and its offerings of toilet humor, beer-laced accessories, and things for the man cave. And wouldn’t ya know it, these raunchy items are just right for the barbecue party that rounds out this year’s summer season. Feast your eyes on what ridiculous looks like with these unique gifts and novelties!
Ten-hut! Which means, look over here at the Grill Sergeant Apron! No need to even to say that, though: the man apron does a pretty good job on its own of getting attention! Pockets for condiments, grilling accessories, and even six– SIX– cans of beer wrap around a grilling commando like Rambo out on a mission against to kill ‘em at the weekend barbecue. Uh, minus the Vietnam flashbacks.
2. Beer Belt
Why strap cans of beer to your chest if you’re a lover, not a fighter? Let a Beer Belt embrace a belly no matter what size. The camouflage beer holder may not exactly hold pants up, but it sure keeps spirits up! Get it? But don’t think of it as a fanny pack: it’s more like a hands-free six pack for the fun people.
Ah, the staple of any good college party: the red disposable cup. Now that you’re a grown-up, though, it’s time to graduate to a Red Cup Drink Kooler. Unlike its disposable counterpart, this insulated drink holder keeps cans and even bottles chilled and your hands condensation-free! So now you don’t need to worry about kid stuff like roofies in your open cup and can worry about grown-up things, like… bills and wearing comfortable shoes.
4. Toilet Mug
We saved the best (or worst!) for last. A Toilet Mug for drinking out of. What’s the worst thing you can think of putting in it?… Really, don’t answer that. This ceramic coffee mug is perfect for when you just gotta go… get a caffeine fix! Use the novelty mug for coffee, tea, hot cocoa, and maybe even candy! (See if anyone puts their grubby digits in this bowl!)
So you see, Big Mouth Toys is all about the surprise factor: things that make you go hmm, ick, or wow. Plus, it’s really interesting to see toilet humor all grown up, especially when there’s no shame about it! So go ahead, yap all you want with a weird gift from Big Mouth Toys, and make no apologies of it!
December 1, 2013
Dear readers, we have a confession to make… a large yet simply stated, crunchy, tasty confession… We are in LOVE with bacon! Bacon bacon bacon! Bacon by itself! Bacon over pizza! Bacon with figs! Bacon crunch! Bacon smell! Bacon sizzles! Even bakin’ in bacon fat! Bacon is no longer just a breakfast staple, but it’s an everything staple, perfectly appropriate for all meals. But why stop at eating? Bacon works wonders in cars, as toys, and even in the Oval Office! We’re thrilled to be part of the team that upholds pork meat like it’s greasy gold. We’re ready to throw off our shackles of salads and healthy eating in favor of living in the moment with the one who never judges, the one who’s always there, the one who makes even the sweetest of moments even better. Bacon, this one’s for you, baby!
For those times when even the smell of freesia is like dog poop, there’s the Bacon Air Freshener. Toss this novelty gift into a hamper to cover up gym-clothes-smell, or use the hanging air freshener to double the awesome smell of cooked bacon while cooking bacon (mind blown).
Start the tykes off with a healthy, heaping dose of Bacon Baby Formula! Yes, we realize how controversial bacon-flavored baby formula is, and yes, we’d totally sprinkle this over cooked bacon. But be warned, parents-with-questionable-parenting-style: Bacon Baby Formula is a very limited product and has a waiting list. Hey, anything worth having is worth waiting for, right?
Nothing ventured, nothing gained! For those times when you can’t put bacon in your mouth, there’s Bacon Toothpaste to get you pretty darn close. Keep your “eww”s to yourself: “bacon fresh” breath means the world will finally love you, all thanks to a certain toothpaste. Who knew!
Wear your heart on your sleeve or anywhere you want with Bacon Love Temporary Tattoos! A pack of two temporary tattoos let you proudly display your shameless love while also letting you try it out before getting the real thing. (Don’t believe us? Scroll down for some real bacon tattoos!) You’d be our hero if you wear your Bacon Love Tattoo right over your real heart.
Breathe a sigh of relief at something you sane bacon lovers can actually consider. Bacon Flip Flops keep a bit of taste under your feet– though we question why you’d want to walk all over bacon– while also showing bacon pride. A perfect compliment to the beach or a night out on the town!
Did we mention we’re part of the bacon brigade? We’re not kidding when we say some people LOVE bacon. Like, a scary-kinda love. Check out some of the things people have done over their fanatical love of meat candy!
Still have room for more? Check out Baconfreak.com for more bacon novelties and bacon apparel for your fill– if you can fill it. Sigh, we feel so much better getting this bacon obsession off our chests and into our bellies. And yet, we thirst for more… No, actually, we’re just thirsty (lots of salt makes us parched). And don’t forget to follow Cris P. Bacon on Twitter at @Bacon4Pres; hey, bacon might have lost the campaign for presidency last time, but not next time! Bacon 2016!
November 27, 2013
Don’t get your head stuck in a turkey! Thanksgiving dinner is just around the corner and whether you’re a novice in the kitchen or an expert chef, we want to make sure you’re covered. Check out these simple tips and pointers on how to cook the most scrumdiddlyumptious thanksgiving turkey your family has ever had!
To dry brine or wet brine? That is the question this thanksgiving. Brining a turkey allows the meat to sit in a soak mixture of kosher salt and water so the meat stays tender and juicy under all those hours of cooking. Soak your turkey in water and salt overnight and store in an oven bag or submerged in a deep container.
Some out there prefer to Dry Brine the turkey as their preparation. This could be essential for flavor purposes or for those who don’t have the utilities or enough room for the brining process. People also swear that dry brining saves much more flavor of the turkey meat by not submerging it in water. Simply rub kosher salt on your turkey and place in a large plastic bag (oven bag or trash bag) and keep refrigerated from anywhere up to 24-72 hours.
Tip: Always remember to remove the innards before brining or preperation. Right before cooking the turkey, you’ll want to add aromatics to the inside of the turkey to add a delicious aroma and spiciness to the meat. This includes items such as: onions, garlic, apples, oranges, lemons, sage, rosemary, parsley, cinnamon sticks, thyme and anything else you’d like to add.
Now that you’ve got the turkey juicy and tender, you may begin the cooking process. Many families tend to cook their turkeys their own special way. A traditional oven roast tends to be the number one choice for cooking a turkey. Check out these 10 delicious and easy turkey dry rubs for your turkey just before popping it in the oven. These 10 recipes are also great for those who want to grill their turkey this year! Just make sure you have a grill big enough to hold the turkey on a rack and a closing lid.
Now, those crazy deep-fryer fanatics that swear on the deep fried turkey as the best turkey they’ve ever had, we know you’re out there. If this is something you plan on trying this year, just make sure to completely thaw your turkey before frying it, or you may end up with a burnt turkey like this guy.
How will you be preparing your thanksgiving feast this season? Got any turkey cooking advice we missed or you’d like to share? Leave us a comment below!